Things I Want To Buy

I've had the idea for this post in my head for a while, but I've been hesitant to post it. It's a very materialistic thing.

At any rate, there are things that I would buy if I had the money. But they are too expensive for me to ask for as gifts. So until I start making more money or win the lottery, the probability of me getting any of these is low.

Amazon Kindle 2 or Kindle DX

I've mentioned this one before.

They just lowered the price to $300. That $50 isn't going to make that much of a difference to me.

I'm a bookworm, so being able to read any book I want, anywhere, at any time, is very tempting. But what really makes me lust for a Kindle is the free wireless internet connection. Not only can I read my books, then I can turn around and post a review to my Goodreads account.

The Kindle DX is supposedly better for textbooks, which would be helpful as I'm planning to go back to college this fall.

Wii with Wii Fit

I'm looking at about $350 for this too.

I really need to exercise more, and the only routine I've ever stuck to was tai chi. Part of my problem is that I'm very insecure about my appearance. If I didn't have to leave the house to work out, I would be much more likely to stick with it.

I'm also a video game junkie. Exercise + video games = hopefully a more healthy Michelle!

I've promised this as a gift to myself when I lose a certain amount of weight. Unfortunately, I'm struggling to meet that goal, so I don't see a Wii in my immediate future.

Slam Man

Apparently, Slam Man has been discontinued. I'm not sure if there's a replacement yet. When available, it was around $200.

Slam Man is punching bag with light up sections. I've seen other torso shaped punching bags, but no others that light up. I like the idea of basically playing a different type of whack-a-mole and getting a good workout. And letting off frustration after a long day.

A massage with Andreas

$60 for 1 hour, $90 for 1:30

This guy sets up at Bloomington Farmer's Market every weekend and offers free short chair massages. He is awesome, but the free chair massage seems SO short. I have a ton of tension in my neck and shoulders, and I would love to have it worked out.

And finally,
Tuition

I decided too late in the year that I wanted to go back to school. Most financial aid and scholarship deadlines are long passed. My plan is to take what I can at Ivy Tech, to save money and because they have evening classes, and then transfer to IU, and ultimately somewhere where I can focus on what I really want to do (grad school out of state, probably). Ivy Tech is $95 per credit hour, and I'm looking at about 32 credit hours there. Then on to IU at $199.40 per credit hour.

I'm hoping to get scholarships or financial aid for next year, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do about this year yet. I'll probably do 2 classes in the fall and 2 in the spring. I'd like to avoid having a loan, but that might be what I have to do.


So really, this is just a bit of another kind of dreaming. And hey, my birthday is next week... *wink*

My Husband Was Kidnapped Last Night

If you know me by now, you've already figured I'm referring to a dream.

[Insert standard whine about how I've been slack blogging lately.]

I had a dream about Amanda Palmer last week, so if I'm going in order, I should post about it first.

Verbal Terrorism Productions was hosting Amanda Palmer playing in the auditorium of my old high school. After the show, Jada, me, and an old friend from high school, helped AFP pack up. First, we took her out the most straightforward way. As we were walking out with the first load, she asked about an old teacher. I told her that he was on the other side of the building, but she said she didn't mind taking the long way for the second load.

Afterwards we hung out in the parking lot. There was a couch and a tv stand, and AFP brought a video game console. We all sat and chatted for a while, and never ended up playing video games. Before we knew it, she had to get on the road, so we helped her pack the rest of her stuff up and she left.

Photo by by No Detour Ahead

Then last night, I had a dream about Brian. That's the two of us at Marc & Michelle's wedding. This is likely the only time I'll ever see Brian in a tux, so I'm spreading these pics all over the place.

I stopped at a discount store on my way to work to buy some stuff for a little girl's birthday party. It ended up taking hours instead of the quick stop that it was supposed to be.

While I was at the store, Brian was going to visit a friend that moved away. His friend was supposed to pick him up, take him to his house, and then bring him back later.

Outside the store, I saw a nice leather chair and accessories in the dumpster. It was exactly the type of chair we had been looking for, and in perfect condition, so I wanted to take it home. But it wouldn't fit in my car.

Since I had taken so long in the store, I figured Brian would be home by now. I gave him a call to see if he knew of anyone who would have a truck to take our chair home. But when I called, I found out that Brian's friend hadn't just moved an hour or so away, he moved to New York state! His friend had only come back in town to pick up some sweaters, and gave Brian a call and took him back to New York with him! Brian was stranded, and we were trying to figure out how to get him back home.

I decided I would drive out there to pick him up. It was a Saturday, so I could drive there, possibly get a couple hours sleep, and then drive him home on Sunday. When the dream ended, I was hurriedly packing a bag.

Happy Memories

After my blog post yesterday, I feel like I need to give some blog time to another childhood friend. (And yesterday's post was a downer, I need a better one to lighten it up in here a little.)

Like I mentioned, my mom and I moved in with her boyfriend (now my stepdad) when I turned 8. I went into the 3rd grade as the new girl. I didn't seem to fit in anywhere, and when I never seemed to have trouble making friends before, now I felt alone. I tried making friends with the girls I shared a desk with at school, but they weren't always very nice to me.

But in 4th grade, everything changed again. My mom and stepdad were now engaged. I had a new teacher who was very nice and made me feel like part of the class, not like the outcast I felt like before. I was making friends. Halfway through the year, I even had a boyfriend (although in 4th grade, boyfriends were a secret). At the time, I was "best friends" with a girl named Stacy. That would last about a year and a half. More importantly, I became friends with Jessica Treece.

Jessica and I had our ups and downs, but as the years passed, our friendship became closer.

In 5th grade, my supposed best friend Stacy challenged me to a fight, because then the cool kids would let her into the popular crowd. When that day came, I drug my feet as much as possible going to recess. It wasn't that I was afraid of fighting her, instead I just didn't want to fight a friend. We went to the middle of the track away from the playground. She had all the popular kids standing on her side, and a huge group of people. I had only a few people on my side, including my little boyfriend, and Jessica.

The fight didn't last long. We circled around for a while, then I pinned her arms behind her and climbed up on her back. I was trying to pin her to the ground, but I was quite a little kid, and didn't have the weight to do it. Then a teacher came over and we had to go to the office. We didn't get in trouble, partially because our old 4th grade teacher vouched for us.

But that ended that friendship, not officially, but we never really hung out after that. She had made her choice. Instead, I hung out with Jessica. I remember sitting in the playground helping her make models of UFOs for her presentation for her advanced placement class.

In 6th grade, we went into middle school. It was hard getting adjusted to the bigger school and different style of classes. My mom had a baby. Mostly, I didn't see many of my old friends, and some had even moved away. But at this point we were both in the advanced placement classes, so I got to see Jessica all the time.

That doesn't mean it was all peachy. The friends that Jessica and I sat with at lunch decided that they didn't like Jessica. They said mean things about her, and convinced me I shouldn't be her friend. They wrote a sort of break up letter for me and gave it to Jessica.

I still feel bad about it. I should've never let them convince me to do that to her. I betrayed Jessica then, and I broke her heart. I saw what I had done, and regretted it, and chose Jessica over the other girls.

In 7th grade, Jessica had a crush on one boy, and I had a crush on another, and the two of them happened to be friends. When it came time to dissect frogs, we had to be in groups of 4, and managed to get ourselves hooked up with them. The 4 of us, plus another one of their friends, worked together on projects for the rest of middle school. We made knights armor for medieval times out of cardboard. We made a video about Alaska. We were silly and giggly and high on sugar.

Sometimes the boys did their own thing, like making a tv show called BABS (made from their initials). So we did ours, we made a radio show named JAMS (Jessica and Michelle show). We'd play silly music (a lot of stuff from Dr. Demento) and ramble on about silly things. We had an episode named Chemicals where we read the labels on the backs of personal hygiene items like lotion and hair spray.

In high school, our group of friends just got bigger, and we worked on several episodes of the XYZ Files (a ripoff of the X files). In one episode, Willy Ketchum and Agent Q (Jessica) were tracking The Chameleon, who could hide himself in his surroundings and stole candy from babies. The Chameleon took a mall rat hostage (that would be me), and the detectives saved the day. We made many more episodes, and they were always a blast.

When we took a family vacation to Sea World, Jessica came along. After high school, Jessica and I took a trip up to Wisconsin to go to the Renaissance Faire. We couldn't find the place, and decided to stop at a gas station for directions. Jessica was driving, and she turned into the gas station, heading straight for a median. I said, "median," but she drove right over it. I said, "I said 'median'!" She replied, "Well if you would have said THINGY!"

After stopping in the gas station, we found out that the Faire was only open on the weekends. So we decided we weren't just going to go back home after driving for so long. We went back to Chicago instead and ended up in the Field Museum and stopped by the Observatory. We had a blast!

After that, we both got boyfriends, and our time together dwindled. The boyfriends became our husbands, and life, well, happened. I moved 200 miles away. I am happy I moved, I love it in Bloomington, and there's only 2 things that make me regret moving: Jessica, and my sister. I do wish I was up there so I could spend more time with them.

Jessica mentioned maybe coming down to visit later this year. I hope she can. We could go to the Indianapolis Zoo. Of course I've been there before, but it will be so much more fun with her there. Or we would have a ton of fun at the Children's Museum.

At any rate, Jessica is a true friend, and one that I couldn't see my life without.

Memories

Lisa Bucholtz was my best friend through most of my childhood. We met when I was 3, but I don't know that for sure, that's just what I was told. I was so young, I don't remember how we met. We lived at the same apartment complex.

When I was 5, my world got turned upside down. My parents divorced. Lisa and her dad moved away. My mom got a boyfriend, and we moved in with him. He was a loser, and after a few months, pretty close to my 6th birthday we moved out into a tiny 1 bedroom apartment.

My mom didn't drive, so we walked everywhere. One day when we were walking somewhere, we saw Lisa's grandma. It turned out that Lisa lived just a few blocks away from us! I have so many memories of the 2 years that we lived in that little apartment that it feels like many more, especially to a child.

Lisa's dad was a terrible father, and most times when I went over to her house, we were alone. But, we really did stay out of trouble. We'd play and listen to music. Lisa had Purple Rain on 45, and we listened to it over and over again. She also had Bad and Thriller, and we wore them out. We'd make plans to start on our pop group, so we could beat the Jacksons at being the youngest singers. We'd talk about how cute Michael Jackson was (this was pre-plastic surgery).

Around the same time, there came a summer when my mom was working days at the fast food joint, and I was baby-sitter-less. Her boyfriend (who is now my stepdad) had a coworker who had a teenage daughter. This daughter had mornings free, but something she had to do in the afternoons during summer. So she would watch me in the mornings, then I would spend an hour or so in the afternoon hanging out at my mom's work.

I didn't really like this babysitter. I was bored a lot. She would make me go outside and play, but I wouldn't have anything to play with. I'd get inventive and use things like the bug candle on the table as a toy (as witch's pot, or a torch, or a hat, you get the idea) and get in trouble for it. She broke the handle on their downstairs bathroom door, and blamed it on me. I still remember her elaborate accusation, "I heard you shaking the door handle from upstairs!" But sometimes she'd color in my coloring books with me and we'd watch CHIPS and Charlie's Angels. I liked those times, and later when FX was a new channel, I would watch Charlies Angel's nostalgically.

For my 8th birthday, the 3 of us moved into a house in a neighboring city, and life changed drastically again. I still got to go over to Lisa's house, but obviously no where near as often. But we remained best friends. At one point, Lisa moved to Arizona to live with her mom for a year, and we got to talk on the phone occassionally. But she moved back. She even came over to my high school for a year.

Then she dropped out of high school our senior year. She babysat for my sister for a while, but when the school year ended, she wouldn't hang out with me or return my calls. (Granted, I was busy falling in love with Brian at the time.) We ended up finding out that she stole my mom's identity as well as my own. She charged up thousands of dollars in our names. She ended our friendship via credit report.

Now I'm just sad that I don't have that kind of a deep friendship anymore. (Well, I have my husband, my best friend in the whole wide world, but that's different than having a best girlfriend.) The news has made me think of her a lot today. Every Michael Jackson song that plays, every Charlie's Angels episode that's mentioned, makes me think of those times. Even though not everything was happiness, I still look back fondly.

RIP Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

Dreams and Costumes

I've been slacking on this blogging thing, so I expect this to be a long post.

I had another dream about Neil Gaiman last night. I don't know why my dreams about him are so unusual, especially compared to dreams about my other favorite celebrities.
In the dream I had about David Bowie, (not sure if I ever blogged it) after trying to get his attention all night, he was waiting in my car when I was ready to leave, and we drove around all night listening to music.
In the dream I had about Gideon Emery, he threw a party, we became good friends, and he headed off to try to woo a girl.
I even had a dream recently where Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were headed off to do typical male macho stuff. Neil Gaiman was in that dream too, but not in too unusual a way.
But in the other Neil Gaiman dream I had, he was trying to seduce me. The strange part is that I never really thought of him that way before I had that dream. He's an awesome storyteller, brilliant and creative. I have a lot of respect for him, and it seems degrading to think of him in anything but a friendly manner. And it seems that I'm a latecomer in discovering that additional, let's say "charisma", in him. And that's still not what I usually think of when I hear his name. And in addition, him and Amanda F. Palmer are now A Thing, which is the coolest matchup in the world.

So in my dream last night...

I went out with my parents and some friends. They gave me something, and I had to wake up early to take care of it before 8:30 am.

I woke up super early, around 4 am, but it was light out and a sunny day. Somehow I ended up on Neil Gaiman's doorstep on some kind of errand. He invited me inside, and I stepped just inside the front door to take care of whatever business I was there on. Whatever it was, we ended up chatting about something totally off subject. I was wearing my heels, and stepped out of them (probably to give my feet a rest). Inside my left shoe, I carried a picture for sentimental value. The picture kept changing, at one point it was my grandpa, at another it was my sister, and when he picked it up, it was my prom picture. He complimented me on it and said I looked pretty.

Then he invited me into his living room. The far wall was covered in cabinets and bookshelves surrounding a little desk with a typewriter/computer. There was someone at the desk typing furiously away, an assistant of some kind, who ignored us and we ignored them.

Neil had blankets and pillows on the floor, and we ended up on them. We were fully clothed, but laying together, and basically cuddling and spooning. (It reminds me of when Brian and I were dating. He had a futon mattress on the floor of his parent's house, and we would do only as much as we could get away with.)

He mentioned that he was lonely. I was confused, because I knew he had AFP. He said that wasn't it, that his personal assistant had moved away and he needed a new one. As much as I wanted to say that I would be his personal assistant, I knew I wouldn't be able to perform the job as well as someone else, so I didn't say anything.

Then we were watching people skiing on the internet, except instead of a computer screen, it was a hologram. We could chat with the people there. I was going to put in my name and where I was (Bloomington, IN, not Neil F Gaiman's house), and he asked me to put in his info too.

I feel a little guilty dreaming about him this way, but at the same time, it was definitely a pleasant dream.

Switching gears, we've decided what we're going to be for Halloween. Yes, it's only June, but that's not too unusual for us. And Brian proposed it this time. We were watching something that mentioned Steampunk, and he said he thought it was cool. My heart skipped a beat, and I excitedly picked up the computer and showed him the world of Steampunk. He said, "Let's do that for Halloween!" Totally.

So the preparation begins. We'll be buying some stuff and making others. We'll buy a coat for Brian, and a bowler hat and a vest. He hates anything other than jeans, so I'm hoping he can get by in black jeans and it'll look okay. He's already got the boots, and a shirt that will work nicely. We're now collecting gears and other stuff to make him a gun of some sort, and anything else we can think of.

For me, I plan to make my skirt and jacket. I found this pattern that I think will be perfect for the jacket, and I've already got an appropriate pattern for the skirt. I think I also have a shirt. I'm not sure if I'll make or buy the petticoat, it depends on cost I think. I'm certainly buying the corset, that's one of those things that really has to be made right. I'll need to buy some boots or shoes too.

And my signature style now is wearing my sunglasses on top of my head. I started that in high school, and it's just stuck with me. It's not like I ever planned it, that's something a lot of people do. It's a convenient way to carry sunglasses without wearing them. But it's rare for me to be without a pair of sunglasses, even on a dreary day, so I always seem to have a pair on top of my head. So for my costume, I'm going to make a pair of glasses style goggles that'll go on top of my head in the typical sunglasses spot. It'll be perfect.

Now I'm excited and am ready to hit Goodwill for supplies...

You'd Lose Your Head If It Wasn't Attached

Well, not exactly. I don't tend to lose things. I forget things.

I'd set my head down in the spot that I always put it in, and promptly leave the house without it, not even realizing it was gone until after I needed it.

I wouldn't exactly call myself forgetful. I can remember abstract ideas, the steps to complete a task, the specifications of a project.

Instead, I will fully admit, I am absent minded. My theory is that my head is so full of stuff that mundane things, like remembering to buy milk at the grocery store, escape me.

Tonight, Brian went up to Indy to pick up his tux for Marc & Michelle's wedding. While there, he called me to let me know he was out of Boost (what he has for breakfast every morning), and was I planning to go grocery shopping? I said that although I hadn't planned to go tonight, we were out of a few things, so maybe that would be a good idea.

I went to the grocery store. I bought fruits and veggies. I bought meat and cheeses. I bought milk and tea. I indulged myself, and got a pint of ice cream. I splurged on some organic chicken strips. I saved a buck and bought the store brand baggies. I took my purchases to the cashier, gave him my Kroger card to scan, passed my bags (that I remembered for once!) to the bagger. The bagger looked at the bags like a monkey doing a math problem (at least it wasn't this bad), but eventually got all my purchases in the bags. I loaded my bags in the trunk, and met Brian at home, who helped me bring them in. I put them in the cupboards and in the refrigerator, and as I was putting the last item away, cheese into the cheese drawer, I realized something.

I had forgotten to buy Boost. THE thing that prompted me to the grocery store was still, sitting silently on the shelf, at the grocery store.

But you know, if you want to print 1 copy of your document to a Xerox 700 digital color printer and then release the rest of the copies from the printer, you go to File, Print, Properties, Info, Select "Print and Hold", scroll to the bottom of the page, and in the very last box type in "1234." Just don't ask me to pick something up for you at the grocery store.

World Oceans Day

I've been very fortunate to be able to travel with my grandparents. Even when my parents couldn't afford it, I still got to go on the great american family vacation with my grandparents.

When I was 6, my grandparents took me, my aunt, and my cousin to Disney World. Honestly, I don't remember a whole lot about it. The one thing I do remember is visiting the ocean for the first time. Unfortunately, it was a cold, overcast day, so I couldn't go in. There was no one on the beach. I was wearing my favorite little pink dress. We took off our shoes and stepped in. I had wadded the skirt of my dress up in my hand to keep it from getting wet. Then I went looking for seashells. By time we got back in the car, the skirt of my dress was soaked. And ever since that trip, I've wanted to go back.

My grandparents took me many other places, and I loved every trip. But my favorite was the last one we took. When I was 16, they took me to Key West. The trip itself wasn't that great, it was hot and they wanted to stay in the hotel room, and grandma had some sort of reaction to something and her cheek swelled up. But I still fell in love with the city. There were two things in particular that stood out to me. The first was the aquarium. During feeding time, they gave tours of the aquarium and taught about the animals as they fed them. I learned so much about not only the animals and their environment, but about animal rescue.

And of course, the second thing about Key West that made me fall head over heels was the ocean. We stayed at a hotel that had it's own beach. The beaches in Key West are man made, but that's not what mattered to me. I walked up and down that beach so much while my grandparents were in their hotel room. I was entranced by the horizon, where the vast expanse of water met the sky.

So when we got married, my first choice for a honeymoon was Key West. I married a former sailor who loves the sea almost as much as I do. He fell in love with Key West as much as I did.

Then a few years ago we went on vacation with my dad and stepmom. The purpose was to visit my grandparents who now live in Florida, but he wanted to go to Key West too. With my dad's help, we got to go again. And we got to go out on a boat for a day, and go kayaking and snorkeling. While kayaking, we saw a sawtooth shark. And when we went snorkeling, I never wanted to come back. I got to see the reef and the wildlife first hand. We saw a nurse shark. I wanted to stay out in the water forever.

That night after the sun had set, Brian and I went out on the pier near the bed and breakfast. We just stared at the ocean. It seemed to go on forever. The horizon line disappeared, and the ocean became the sky.

There are many more times I visited the ocean, and I feel so at home there. Someday, I will live near the ocean. If I've ever had a transcendental moment, it was while staring at the sea.